Basement Mold – Scary story


Basement Mold

The Basement Mold is a scary story about a family who move into a new house and find a strange fungus or mold growing in their basement and their young son acting very strange.

basement-mold

A young family with one child moves into a new house. The child is a boy, 3 years old. The mother is in the basement one day doing laundry. She hears the boy in the next room playing. She hears him talking and goes to see what he is doing. He is standing looking at a wall and talking away as if someone were there. The mother asks to whom he is talking. The boy replies, “The Sticky Man.”

The parents just think the boy has invented an imaginary friend. He often tells them he was playing with or talking to the Sticky Man. Not just in the basement, but all over the house. The boy talks about the Sticky Man so much that the parents start to get concerned. They explain to the boy that it is okay to have imaginary friends, but he needs to understand that the Sticky Man is not real. This makes the boy very upset, and he insists the Sticky Man is real.

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Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven…


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The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”

Forrest responds, “It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”

Saint Peter goes on, “Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God’s first name?”

Heaven_in_Persona_4_The_Animation

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The Little Match Girl


The Little Match Girl is a short story by Danish poet and author Hans Christian Andersen. The story is about a dying child’s dreams and hope, and was first published in 1845.

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Published: December 1845
Author: Hans Christian Andersen
Adaptations: The Little Matchgirl (2006)
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Most terribly cold it was; it snowed, and was nearly quite dark, and evening– the last evening of the year. In this cold and darkness there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded, and with naked feet. When she left home she had slippers on, it is true; but what was the good of that? They were very large slippers, which her mother had hitherto worn; so large were they; and the poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street, because of two carriages that rolled by dreadfully fast.

Beaut Cure for a Headache


WCLC Headache Cartoon

Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache.

“I’ve got a beaut cure for a headache,” said his mate Trev. “Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails.”

A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. “Did you try my headache cure,” asked Trev. “Yeah said Phil, worked great! Your house is nice, too!”

-The End –

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The Elephant’s Child – Stories of Rudyard Kipling


Elephant's childIN the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he could not pick up things with it.

The young elephant hero is full of questions. Why is his tall uncle the giraffe so spotty? Why are the eyes of his broad aunt the Hippopotamus so red? Above all, he wants to know what the crocodile has for dinner. And in the end we learn how the elephant got his trunk.

This masterpiece by the author of the Jungle Books is full of language that evokes Africa – the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees. At times it is almost like a poem by Edward Lear. It is one of our favourite Storynories.

In the Bertie introduction, Tim the Tadpole is full of questions too.

Read by Natasha. The duration is 25 minutes.

 

IN the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he couldn’t pick up things with it. But there was one Elephant–a new Elephant–an Elephant’s Child–who was full of ‘satiable curtiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he filled all Africa with his ‘satiable curtiosities. He asked his tall aunt, the Ostrich, why her tail-feathers grew just so, and his tall aunt the Ostrich spanked him with her hard, hard claw. He asked his tall uncle, the Giraffe, what made his skin spotty, and his tall uncle, the Giraffe, spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof; and he asked his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why melons tasted just so, and his hairy uncle, the Baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked questions about everything that he saw, or heard, or felt, or smelt, or touched, and all his uncles and his aunts spanked him. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity!

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My hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub…. best fun ever


My hobby is to see bubble in the…

funny

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students.As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to Introduce themselves with name and hobby.She said, ” Let’s start with the boys first.”

Boys start giving their intro…

First boy: “My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.”

Teacher was confused to listen but said, “Interesting.

Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it’s ok John. Yes next.”

Second boy: “Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub.”

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The Drunk Husband – by jesurajlove


The Drunk Husband

A drunk man arrives late at home.

He knows his wife won’t open the door, so he decides to pretend he bought her flowers & knocks at the door..!!

Wife: Who is it ?

Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty lady.

Wife opens the door & says: Where are the flowers?

Drunk: Where is the pretty lady?

The End

The first time I met my girlfriend


paula

 

The first time I met my girlfriend, I made her laugh and heard a loud but distinct squeak. When I asked her “Did you just squeak?” she smiled and said “I squeak when I laugh…” I was about to say that I thought it was cute, when she added “Loudly, and like a balloon.” with a big grin on her face. Which is how she found out that I snort when I laugh. My roommate tries to get both of us laughing so he can direct the symphony of silly noises.

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Peanuts – funny stories of all time :]


old woman

A priest was visiting an old Lady in her home. She offered him coffee and they sat down in the living room for a nice chat.

After a while the man saw a bowl of peanuts at the side table. He asked the old Lady if he could have one. She said of course, help yourself.

After a little while he took some more and she just smiled. So when he wanted even more he said: I am eating so many of your peanuts, I hope it is OK. She answered him:

Eat them all if you want! I cannot chew them with no teeth so I have just sucked of the chocolate on all of them.

The End
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Jack the Giant-Killer – Joseph Jacobs tales


Jack The Giant Killer Film

When good King Arthur reigned, there lived near the Land’s End of England, in the county of Cornwall, a farmer who had one only son called Jack. He was brisk and of a ready lively wit, so that nobody or nothing could worst him.

In those days the Mount of Cornwall was kept by a huge giant named Cormoran. He was eighteen feet in height, and about three yards round the waist, of a fierce and grim countenance, the terror of all the neighbouring towns and villages. He lived in a cave in the midst of the Mount, and whenever he wanted food he would wade over to the main- land, where he would furnish himself with whatever came in his way. Everybody at his approach ran out of their houses, while he seized on their cattle, making nothing of carrying half-a-dozen oxen on his back at a time; and as for their sheep and hogs, he would tie them round his waist like a bunch of tallow-dips. He had done this for many years, so that all Cornwall was in despair.

One day Jack happened to be at the town-hall when the magistrates were sitting in council about the Giant. He asked: “What reward will be given to the man who kills Cormoran?” “The giant’s treasure,” they said, “will be the reward.” Quoth Jack: “Then let me undertake it.”

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Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves – Arabian nights


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In a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighbouring forest and selling it in the town.

One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees.

The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said, “Open, Sesame!” so plainly that Ali Baba heard him.

A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying, “Shut, Sesame!”

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