Confessions of a Teenage Blonde


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None of my yoga pants have actually ever been to yoga. My actual New years resolution: look like a Victoria’s Secret model. If pink and glitter were vitamins I would be the healthiest person alive If it’s pink and if it sparkles, I either already own it or I will. My mind says Victoria’s Secret model, but my heart says chocolate, Starbucks, wine. Too much glitter isn’t enough glitter. I believe shopping is the best calorie burner Every time I see a brunette I think, “Bitch please.

My straightener is hotter than you.” Pink makes everything pretty. If you don’t love pink, you’re wrong. I can’t wear it Friday night if I’ve already taken a picture in it. The Holidays require extra glitter. I wish my hair grew as fast as my nails. Whenever I get blood work done, the nurse is always surprised to see glitter in the vial. You can never be too blonde. You only have one life to live; wear the sequins, fall in love, buy the shoes and never worry about what negative people think. My blood type is pink glitter My closet is full of clothes with the tags still on them but I shop anyways. Continue reading