In no particular order – Best Blonde Jokes


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Two blondes walk into a bar, the brunette ducks.

A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”

She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.”

“I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I`ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.”

The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

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Head in the toilet prank – Just For Laughs


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Choose Ex-teachers – Funny Adult Jokes


Choose Ex-teachers

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A horny young man went to a brothel… The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available.

Madam, “On the first floor, we have the ex-models… they are all slinky and sexy… On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses… they are all buxom and beautiful… On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers…. they…”

Man, “Say no more! Lead me to the third floor.”

Madam, “Are you sure… I’m surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses.”

Man, “It’s obvious, ma’am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you’re perfect at it.”

-The End-

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If Mona Lisa was alive today


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-The End-

I’m still sleeping… ha – ha ha – ha ha


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Mom calls, “Get up Paul.”

Nothing. No movement. Just quiet.

She calls again, “Get up Paul!”

Still nothing. Still no movement. Still just quiet.

“I mean it. I’m gonna come up and get you
if you don’t come down now, Paul!”

To which Paul says, “Ha – ha ha – ha ha, I’m still sleeping.”

“Okay Paul,” says mom as she walks up the stairs,
“I’m coming up now.”

“Ha – ha ha – ha ha. You can’t find me.
I am hiding… in my dreams.”

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