The Elephant’s Child – Stories of Rudyard Kipling


Elephant's childIN the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he could not pick up things with it.

The young elephant hero is full of questions. Why is his tall uncle the giraffe so spotty? Why are the eyes of his broad aunt the Hippopotamus so red? Above all, he wants to know what the crocodile has for dinner. And in the end we learn how the elephant got his trunk.

This masterpiece by the author of the Jungle Books is full of language that evokes Africa – the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees. At times it is almost like a poem by Edward Lear. It is one of our favourite Storynories.

In the Bertie introduction, Tim the Tadpole is full of questions too.

Read by Natasha. The duration is 25 minutes.

 

IN the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved, had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he couldn’t pick up things with it. But there was one Elephant–a new Elephant–an Elephant’s Child–who was full of ‘satiable curtiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he filled all Africa with his ‘satiable curtiosities. He asked his tall aunt, the Ostrich, why her tail-feathers grew just so, and his tall aunt the Ostrich spanked him with her hard, hard claw. He asked his tall uncle, the Giraffe, what made his skin spotty, and his tall uncle, the Giraffe, spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof; and he asked his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why melons tasted just so, and his hairy uncle, the Baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity! He asked questions about everything that he saw, or heard, or felt, or smelt, or touched, and all his uncles and his aunts spanked him. And still he was full of ‘satiable curtiosity!

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The Story of the Three Little Pigs – By Joseph Jacobs


three-little-pigs

 

Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme
  And monkeys chewed tobacco,
  And hens took snuff to make them tough,
  And ducks went quack, quack, quack, O!

There was an old sow with three little pigs, and as she had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune. The first that went off met a man with a bundle of straw, and said to him:

“Please, man, give me that straw to build me a house.”

Which the man did, and the little pig built a house with it. Presently came along a wolf, and knocked at the door, and said:

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

To which the pig answered:

“No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin.”

The wolf then answered to that:

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.”

So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew his house in, and ate up the little pig.

The second little pig met a man with a bundle of furze, and said:

“Please, man, give me that furze to build a house.”

Which the man did, and the pig built his house. Then along came the wolf, and said:

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

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Sexy Girl Eating Like a Pig Prank – Where is the Fun


Sexy girl seems head over heals for random men eating at the mall food court, she even pays them a beer before revealing her true dirty, disgusting and quite possible completely crazy self. That being said, I’m sure we can all agree her sheer hotness more than compensates for her crude table manners.


visit : http://www.jesurajlove.com for more

A presentation of JustForLaughsTV, the official Just For Laughs Gags YouTube channel. Home of the funniest, greatest, most amazing, most hilarious, win filled, comedy galore, hidden camera pranks in the world!

The Boss & the trainee – Fun * Fun * Fun


Telephone_cartoon

A Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded, “You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?”

No”, replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you fool!” The man shouted back, “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?”

“No”, replied the Managing Director. “Thats Good!”, replied the trainee and put down the phone!

HaHa! I hope you learn from this and that this never happens to you!!

** The End **

Funny Story About Sin ~ The Worms


cartoon-worms

A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday Sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the Sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol – Dead.

Second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead.

Third worm in sperm – Dead.
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The Three Little Pigs – fairy tales best ever


Three-Little-Pigs1

Once upon a time there was and old pig with three little pigs, and one day she said to them: “My children, it is time for you to go out in the world and seek your fortunes”.
So, bidding their mother good-bye, the three little pigs set out to earn their living.

Three-Little-Pigs2

The first little pig, whose name was Whitey, met a man with a bundle of straw and said to him: “Please, mister, will you give me that straw to build a house with?”
The man gave Whitey the straw, and he built himself a house with it.

Three-Little-Pigs3

Presently a wolf came along and knocked at the door of Whitey’s house.
“Little pig, little pig,” he said. “Let me come in.”
But of course Whitey didn’t want the wolf to come in, so he said:
“No, no, by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!”
This made the wolf angry, and he said:

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Smart Fishing – Today’s Fun


Fishing_Cartoon_02tra.1592134

 

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer’s house) and would always leave with a stringer full of fish. The fellow had a boat but a fishing pole was not to be seen.

The farmer mentioned the situation to the lake ranger. The ranger then started watching this man and all that the farmer said was true! The man would arrive at the lake in the morning and by early afternoon, he had a stringer full of fish. The ranger dressed like a fisherman one day and approached the man. They exchanged pleasantries and the stranger asked the ranger in disguise to come fish with him. They boated for 45 minutes and arrived at a secluded spot. The stranger then pulled out a stick of dynamite.

Ranger: “I’m going to have to place you under arrest – I am a Ranger and you are fishing illegally!”

The stranger calmly lit the stick of dynamite and handed it to the ranger. Stranger: “Are you gonna talk or fish?”

The End

An Engineer in Hell


engineer

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?” Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What??? You’ve
got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.” Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.” God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.” Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

Season Ticket – Fun


Season Ticket

 reading news
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.”

“Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, “Would you swap me for a season ticket?”

“Absolutely not,” he said.

“How sweet,” Sarah said. “Tell me why not.”

“Season’s more than half over,” he said.

Lawyer In Hell – It’s fun time


Lawyer In Hell

 lawyer-cartoon
lawyer died and was delivered into the devil’s hands. “You will be spending eternity here, but I’ll let you pick your own room from three I’ll show you,” the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. “I don’t like that,” said the man. “Show me the second.”

In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. “Well, that’s better than brick,” the man said, “but show me the third.”

In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of warms infested garbage, all drinking coffee.

“I’ll choose this room,” he said.

Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.

Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, “OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads.”

The End

Divorce Case – from the best fun series


Divorce Case

 divorce case
One day woman needs to get divorce from his husband and she filed a divorce case. Finally advocate decided to finish this like this:
 Advocate: OK. I have considered all the evidences and finally I decided to give her 500$ per month as a beneficiary. Do you have anything to tell regarding this final decision? Advocate asked from man.
Man : Nothing to say Sir! I am agree with your tremendous decision. I will also give her some amount as I can.

The Selfish Giant – untold fairy tales


The Selfish Giant

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Every afternoon, as they were coming from school, the children used to go and play in the Giant’s garden.
It was a large lovely garden, with soft green grass. Here and there over the grass stood beautiful flowers like stars, and there were twelve peach-trees that in the spring-time broke out into delicate blossoms of pink and pearl, and in the autumn bore rich fruit. The birds sat on the trees and sang so sweetly that the children used to stop their games in order to listen to them. “How happy we are here!” they cried to each other.

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One day the Giant came back. He had been to visit his friend the Cornish ogre, and had stayed with him for seven years. After the seven years were over he had said all that he had to say, for his conversation was limited, and he determined to return to his own castle. When he arrived he saw the children playing in the garden.
“What are you doing here?” he cried in a very gruff voice, and the children ran away.
“My own garden is my own garden,” said the Giant; “any one can understand that, and I will allow nobody to play in it but myself.”

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