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Adult joke of the day


funny adult jokes

funny adult jokes

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Either Screw or Swim – Funny Adult Story ( 18+ Jokes)


Either Screw or Swim

hot blonde cartoon

Hot beach blonde

Mike walks into the bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a big smile on his face. Mike says, “Pat what are you so happy about?”

“Well Mike i gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxing my boat and a redhead came up to me boobs out to here, Mike…boobs out to here! She says, ‘Can I have a ride in your boat?’ I said, ‘Sure you can have a ride in my boat!’ So I took her way out Mike. I turned off the key and said, ‘It’s either screw or swim!’ She couldn’t swim Mike, she couldn’t swim!”

The next day Mike walks into the bar and sees Pat siting at tne end of the bar with a even bigger smile on his face. Mike says, “Well what are you so happy about today Pat?”

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How Couples Makeout


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How Couples Makeout

-The End-

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In no particular order – Best Blonde Jokes


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Two blondes walk into a bar, the brunette ducks.

A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”

She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.”

“I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I`ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.”

The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

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Meeting St. Peter – Best Blonde Jokes


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Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, “Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey.”

“Nooooo,” said St. Peter. “You don’t get in.”

The second blonde said, “Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus’ being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other.”

“Nooooo,” said St. Peter. “You don’t get in, either.”

The third blonde said, “Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it.”

“Very good!” said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. “Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball.”

St. Peter fainted!

-The End-

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Top 7 Blonde Jokes of all time



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Blonde Jokes

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, “What’s the story?”

He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

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If Mona Lisa was alive today


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Broccoli vs walnut vs mushroom funny sexy game


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Funny joke about Government : funny images :


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Which is the best funniest way to get revenge on your wife


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Best funny joke about women


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Funny iPhone jokes for apple fans


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