Tuning AM/FM ( Adult Jokes)


e0b9581ab43860d6216ee80f6a65dbea

A sexy lady meet a handsome young man in a pub, after some drinks and a little tipsy the sexy lady said to the young man, “My mouth is like a loud speaker, my two breasts are for tuning, left one is for tuning the channel AM or FM and my right breast is for tuning bass and treble depending which mode you want.”

The young man was aroused by the young lady expression, and said to the lady, “I don’t believe it.”

Young lady said, “You can try it if you want”.

Young man said, “Ok come to my hotel room and prove it to me.”

They agreed and both holding hands and headed for the hotel room. Upon entering the room the young lady undressed herself and soon the young man start feeling the left nipple for AM/FM fine-tuning. After a while nothing happen. He changed to the right nipple and start rubbing with greater pressure.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Chapter IV: The Rabbit Sends In A Little Bill


Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

by Lewis Carroll

Chapter IV: The Rabbit Sends In A Little Bill

rodney_matthewsteaparty

It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to itself ‘The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She’ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?’ Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very good–naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen—everything seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, had vanished completely.

Continue reading

Chapter III: A Caucus-Race And A Long Tale


Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

by Lewis Carroll

Chapter III: A Caucus-Race And A Long Tale

1417948221_425035fc8d_m

They were indeed a queer–looking party that assembled on the bank—the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.

The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, ‘I am older than you, and must know better’; and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.

Continue reading

Chapter II: The Pool Of Tears


Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

by Lewis Carroll

Chapter II: The Pool Of Tears

pool-of-tears

‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); ‘now I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good–bye, feet!’ (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). ‘Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I’m sure I shan’t be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;—but I must be kind to them,’ thought Alice, ‘or perhaps they won’t walk the way I want to go! Let me see: I’ll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.’

And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. ‘They must go by the carrier,’ she thought; ‘and how funny it’ll seem, sending presents to one’s own feet! And how odd the directions will look!

Continue reading

Chapter I: Down The Rabbit-Hole


Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

by Lewis Carroll

Chapter I: Down The Rabbit-Hole

rabbithole01

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, ‘and what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice ‘without pictures or conversation?’

So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy–chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

Continue reading

Chapter 17: When Wendy Grew Up


Peter Pan

by J.M. Barrie

Chapter 17: When Wendy Grew Up

peter pan HD

I hope you want to know what became of the other boys. They were waiting below to give Wendy time to explain about them; and when they had counted five hundred they went up. They went up by the stair, because they thought this would make a better impression. They stood in a row in front of Mrs. Darling, with their hats off, and wishing they were not wearing their pirate clothes. They said nothing, but their eyes asked her to have them. They ought to have looked at Mr. Darling also, but they forgot about him.

Of course Mrs. Darling said at once that she would have them; but Mr. Darling was curiously depressed, and they saw that he considered six a rather large number.

Continue reading

Chapter 16: The Return Home


Peter Pan

by J.M. Barrie

Chapter 16: The Return Home

peter pan HD

By three bells that morning they were all stirring their stumps [legs]; for there was a big sea running; and Tootles, the bo’sun, was among them, with a rope’s end in his hand and chewing tobacco. They all donned pirate clothes cut off at the knee, shaved smartly, and tumbled up, with the true nautical roll and hitching their trousers.

It need not be said who was the captain. Nibs and John were first and second mate. There was a woman aboard. The rest were tars [sailors] before the mast, and lived in the fo’c’sle. Peter had already lashed himself to the wheel; but he piped all hands and delivered a short address to them; said he hoped they would do their duty like gallant hearties, but that he knew they were the scum of Rio and the Gold Coast, and if they snapped at him he would tear them. The bluff strident words struck the note sailors understood, and they cheered him lustily. Then a few sharp orders were given, and they turned the ship round, and nosed her for the mainland.

Continue reading

Chapter 14: The Pirate Ship


Peter Pan

by J.M. Barrie

CHAPTER 14: THE PIRATE SHIP

peter pan HD

One green light squinting over Kidd’s Creek, which is near the mouth of the pirate river, marked where the brig, the JOLLY ROGER, lay, low in the water; a rakish-looking [speedy-looking] craft foul to the hull, every beam in her detestable, like ground strewn with mangled feathers. She was the cannibal of the seas, and scarce needed that watchful eye, for she floated immune in the horror of her name.

Continue reading

Greediness can make A Man Blind


arabian_lg1

Greediness can make A Man Blind :

Long ago there lived a merchant Abdullah. He was very rich, but he was very greedy. One day he loaded his forty camels with costly spices to sell in a far away city in Arabia. He sold all the spices there. He halted in an inn to have lunch on the way back. There a Holy man met Abdullah and they became friends then.

blind man using cane with his dog clipart

blind man 

The Holy man described about the secret land of enormous wealth.

“I also have heard about it “ Abdullah said with a smile.

Continue reading

The Three Wisemen and The Camel


arabian_lg1

The Three Wisemen and The Camel :

Once there lived a man in a small village in Arabia. He had a camel. Whenever he went on a journey, he went along with his camel. At one such journey, he lost his camel unexpectedly. He was in search of his camel. He asked everyone, “Have you seen my camel.” But everywhere his effort was in vain.

One day when he came through a city he met three wise men on his way. As usual he asked the wise men “Have any one of you seen my camel?” The three wise men thought for a while and began to speak. The man asked them curiously, “Have you seen my camel on your way?”

Continue reading

Chapter 13: Do You Believe In Fairies?


Peter Pan

by J.M. Barrie

CHAPTER 13: DO YOU BELIEVE IN FAIRIES?

9-_peter_pan_1953_platinum_edition_2-disc_dvd

The more quickly this horror is disposed of the better. The first to emerge from his tree was Curly. He rose out of it into the arms of Cecco, who flung him to Smee, who flung him to Starkey, who flung him to Bill Jukes, who flung him to Noodler, and so he was tossed from one to another till he fell at the feet of the black pirate. All the boys were plucked from their trees in this ruthless manner; and several of them were in the air at a time, like bales of goods flung from hand to hand.

A different treatment was accorded to Wendy, who came last. With ironical politeness Hook raised his hat to her, and, offering her his arm, escorted her to the spot where the others were being gagged. He did it with such an air, he was so frightfully DISTINGUE [imposingly distinguished], that she was too fascinated to cry out. She was only a little girl.

Continue reading

The Wicked Wife of The Sheik


arabian_lg1

The Wicked Wife of The Sheik :

Once in Arabia, there lived a Sheik. He and his wife lived in a village. As she had no child, the Sheik married a maiden for a second time. By his second wife, he had a son. He loved his son very much and he grew up as a hand some young man. Sheik’s first wife hated the second wife and her son.

Sheik’s first wife began to plot against the second wife and her son. One day the Sheik had to go out on a journey. He said to his son that he would return home before Bakrid and he would bring him some fine gifts also. As the first wife had some magical powers she changed the second wife and son as goats when the sheik was away. When Bakrid was nearing he returned home and could find only his first wife. He asked her where his son and his mother were.

Continue reading