Funny blonde jokes – A microwave


Cartoon-by-Wolfi-Korn-01

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.
“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.
“Damn, he recognized me, ” she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, “I would like to buy this TV.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”
“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

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Funny blonde jokes – Swimming


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There were three people stranded on an island: a brunette, a redhead and a
blonde. The brunette looked over the water to mainland and estimated about 20
miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” So she
swam out 5 miles, and got really tired. She swam out 10 miles from the island,
and she was so tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to  get to the mainland than stayed here and starve.” So she attempts to swim out.
The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she was so tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too. “So she swan out 5 miles,10 miles,15 miles, and finally 19 miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on! “So she swam back.

-The End-

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Walking Down The Street – Best England Jokes


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One morning, two Englishmen are strolling down a London street, when they see a stray dog licking its own testicles.

One of the Englishmen turns to the other and says, “Say, I wish I could do that!” His mate watches the dog for a moment, sighs longingly, and replies, “I should say so! But don’t you think you ought to get to know him first?”

-The End-

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Beaut Cure for a Headache


WCLC Headache Cartoon

Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache.

“I’ve got a beaut cure for a headache,” said his mate Trev. “Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails.”

A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. “Did you try my headache cure,” asked Trev. “Yeah said Phil, worked great! Your house is nice, too!”

-The End –

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Maid of Dishonor – Best Fun Series


(I work in a small ‘special occasions’ dress boutique. Today, my customer is a bride, with her bridesmaids, and the bride’s mother. The bride’s sister looks about 16 or 17.)

maid

Bride’s Sister: “Okay, so I know you’re the one getting married, but I still have to look hot. My dress has to look hot. I have to stand out.”

Bride: “Well, we’ll have a look at what they have in my colors for my wedding, and see what they have that can be made to flatter all of you. But the only dress that will be different is the maid-of-honor dress, and since you aren’t the maid-of-honor, you’ll be wearing a bridesmaid’s dress.”

Bride’s Sister: “Okay, first of all, I’m not wearing a dress in your colors. Second, I’m not wearing the same thing these girls are wearing. I have to look like the hottest b**** in the entire room.”

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