The first time I met my girlfriend


paula

 

The first time I met my girlfriend, I made her laugh and heard a loud but distinct squeak. When I asked her “Did you just squeak?” she smiled and said “I squeak when I laugh…” I was about to say that I thought it was cute, when she added “Loudly, and like a balloon.” with a big grin on her face. Which is how she found out that I snort when I laugh. My roommate tries to get both of us laughing so he can direct the symphony of silly noises.

Read more: http://prankfunvideos.com/

connect with us :  https://www.facebook.com/BestEntertainmentSite

Peanuts – funny stories of all time :]


old woman

A priest was visiting an old Lady in her home. She offered him coffee and they sat down in the living room for a nice chat.

After a while the man saw a bowl of peanuts at the side table. He asked the old Lady if he could have one. She said of course, help yourself.

After a little while he took some more and she just smiled. So when he wanted even more he said: I am eating so many of your peanuts, I hope it is OK. She answered him:

Eat them all if you want! I cannot chew them with no teeth so I have just sucked of the chocolate on all of them.

The End
Read more: http://prankfunvideos.com/

connect with us :  https://www.facebook.com/BestEntertainmentSite

Jack the Giant-Killer – Joseph Jacobs tales


Jack The Giant Killer Film

When good King Arthur reigned, there lived near the Land’s End of England, in the county of Cornwall, a farmer who had one only son called Jack. He was brisk and of a ready lively wit, so that nobody or nothing could worst him.

In those days the Mount of Cornwall was kept by a huge giant named Cormoran. He was eighteen feet in height, and about three yards round the waist, of a fierce and grim countenance, the terror of all the neighbouring towns and villages. He lived in a cave in the midst of the Mount, and whenever he wanted food he would wade over to the main- land, where he would furnish himself with whatever came in his way. Everybody at his approach ran out of their houses, while he seized on their cattle, making nothing of carrying half-a-dozen oxen on his back at a time; and as for their sheep and hogs, he would tie them round his waist like a bunch of tallow-dips. He had done this for many years, so that all Cornwall was in despair.

One day Jack happened to be at the town-hall when the magistrates were sitting in council about the Giant. He asked: “What reward will be given to the man who kills Cormoran?” “The giant’s treasure,” they said, “will be the reward.” Quoth Jack: “Then let me undertake it.”

Continue reading

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves – Arabian nights


u07062ad520

In a town in Persia there dwelt two brothers, one named Cassim, the other Ali Baba. Cassim was married to a rich wife and lived in plenty, while Ali Baba had to maintain his wife and children by cutting wood in a neighbouring forest and selling it in the town.

One day, when Ali Baba was in the forest, he saw a troop of men on horseback, coming toward him in a cloud of dust. He was afraid they were robbers, and climbed into a tree for safety. When they came up to him and dismounted, he counted forty of them. They unbridled their horses and tied them to trees.

The finest man among them, whom Ali Baba took to be their captain, went a little way among some bushes, and said, “Open, Sesame!” so plainly that Ali Baba heard him.

A door opened in the rocks, and having made the troop go in, he followed them, and the door shut again of itself. They stayed some time inside, and Ali Baba, fearing they might come out and catch him, was forced to sit patiently in the tree. At last the door opened again, and the Forty Thieves came out. As the Captain went in last he came out first, and made them all pass by him; he then closed the door, saying, “Shut, Sesame!”

Continue reading

Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse – Joseph Jacobs


zpage187

Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse both lived in a house,

Titty Mouse went a leasing and Tatty Mouse went a leasing,

So they both went a leasing.

Titty Mouse leased an ear of corn, and Tatty Mouse leased an ear of corn,

So they both leased an ear of corn.

Titty Mouse made a pudding, and Tatty Mouse made a pudding,

So they both made a pudding.

And Tatty Mouse put her pudding into the pot to boil,

But when Titty went to put hers in, the pot tumbled over, and scalded her to death.

Then Tatty sat down and wept; then a three-legged stool said: “Tatty, why do you weep?” “Titty’s dead,” said Tatty, “and so I weep;” “then,” said the stool, “I’ll hop,” so the stool hopped.

Then a broom in the corner of the room said, “Stool, why do you hop?” “Oh!” said the stool, “Titty’s dead, and Tatty weeps, and so I hop;” “then,” said the broom, “I’ll sweep,” so the broom began to sweep.

Continue reading

The Story of the Three Little Pigs – By Joseph Jacobs


three-little-pigs

 

Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme
  And monkeys chewed tobacco,
  And hens took snuff to make them tough,
  And ducks went quack, quack, quack, O!

There was an old sow with three little pigs, and as she had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune. The first that went off met a man with a bundle of straw, and said to him:

“Please, man, give me that straw to build me a house.”

Which the man did, and the little pig built a house with it. Presently came along a wolf, and knocked at the door, and said:

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

To which the pig answered:

“No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin.”

The wolf then answered to that:

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.”

So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew his house in, and ate up the little pig.

The second little pig met a man with a bundle of furze, and said:

“Please, man, give me that furze to build a house.”

Which the man did, and the pig built his house. Then along came the wolf, and said:

“Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

Continue reading

Wish of The Lion – Grandma tales


Wish of The Lion :

6a00d8341d417153ef01774460715c970d-550wi
Once, a fierce lion lived in a forest. A woodcutter with his wife and their beautiful daughter Rupa lived in a small hut by the edge of the forest. One time the lion happened to see Rupa. He was so captivated by her beauty that he wished to make her his wife.

So the lion went to the woodcutter’s hut and roared loudly. “Woodcutter, I want to marry your daughter Rupa. If you refuse I will kill you all.”

The woodcutter said, “Let me ask my daughter first.”

He went inside the hut and came out a few minutes later. Then he said, “Rupa is scared of your sharp teeth and claws. She said if you would cut them off, she will agree to be your wife.”

Continue reading

Three daughters – Adult Jokes


The_three_daughters_of_King_Edward_VII_and_Queen_Alexandra_by_Sydney_Prior_Hall

 

The mother had three virgin daughters. All three got married almost at the same time and went on a honeymoon. The mother was very worried about the beginning of their sexual life, and asked them to send her at least a few words how it’s going.
The first one sent a postcard from Hawaii, just after two days after the wedding. On top of it there was just one word: “Nescafe”. Her mother ran into the  kitchen, find a coffee “Nescafe” and read on the label: “Blessing” until the  last drop”. Mother blushed, but was satisfied with her daughter’s happiness.
The second daughter sent the postcard from Jamaica a few days later, where she read “Benson n Hedges” cigars. She immediately went to the man’s room, where she found his “Benson Hedges” and read “Extra Long cigars. King Size”. She again shyly blushed, but was happy for her daughter.

Continue reading

The Great Blonde Kidnap


animation-animazione-bionda-blonde-braid-camaleonte-Favim.com-88084

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

The End

William Sydney Porter (September 11, 1862 – June 5, 1910) O. Henry


William_Sydney_Porter_by_doubleday

The American short story writer O. Henry was born under the name William Sydney Porter in Greensboro, North Carolina in 1862. His short stories are well known throughout the world; noted for their witticism, clever wordplay, and unexpected endings.

Like many other writers, O. Henry’s early career wandered across different activities and professions before he found his calling as a short story writer. He started working in his uncle’s drugstore in 1879 and became a licensed pharmacist by the age of 19. His first creative expressions came while working in the pharmacy. he would sketch the townspeople that frequented the store and was admired for his artistic skills.

O. Henry moved to Texas in March of 1882 hoping to get rid of his persistent cough. While there, he took up residence on a sheep ranch, learned shepherding, cooking, babysitting, and bits of Spanish and German from the many migrant farmhands. He was a good musician and had an active social life in Austin, playing both the guitar and mandolin. Over the next several years, Porter took a number of different jobs, from pharmacy to drafting, journalism and banking.

Continue reading