Company Policy: Effective Immediately
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday Sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the Sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol – Dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead.
Third worm in sperm – Dead.