Elephant and Friends : Funny story


elephant and friends

 

Elephant and Friends :

One day an elephant wandered into a forest in search of friends.

He saw a monkey on a tree.

“Will you be my friend?” asked the elephant.

Replied the monkey, “You are too big. You can not swing from trees like me.”

Next, the elephant met a rabbit. He asked him to be his friends.

But the rabbit said, “You are too big to play in my burrow!”

Then the elephant met a frog.

“Will you be my friend? He asked.

“How can I?” asked the frog.

“You are too big to leap about like me.”

The elephant was upset. He met a fox next.

“Will you be my friend?” he asked the fox.

The fox said, “Sorry, sir, you are too big.”

The next day, the elephant saw all the animals in the forest running for their lives.

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One Thousand Dollars (By O. Henry)


One Thousand Dollars (By O. Henry)

9780194232166

Our story today is called “One Thousand Dollars.” It was written by O. Henry. Here is Steve Ember with the story.

“One thousand dollars,” said the lawyer Tolman, in a severe and serious voice. “And here is the money.”

Young Gillian touched the thin package of fifty-dollar bills and laughed.

“It’s such an unusual amount,” he explained, kindly, to the lawyer. “If it had been ten thousand a man might celebrate with a lot of fireworks. Even fifty dollars would have been less trouble.”

“You heard the reading of your uncle’s will after he died,” continued the lawyer Tolman. “I do not know if you paid much attention to its details. I must remind you of one. You are required to provide us with a report of how you used this one thousand dollars as soon as you have spent it. I trust that you will obey the wishes of your late uncle.”

“You may depend on it,” said the young man respectfully.

Gillian went to his club. He searched for a man he called Old Bryson.

Old Bryson was a calm, anti-social man, about forty years old. He was in a corner reading a book. When he saw Gillian coming near he took a noisy, deep breath, laid down his book and took off his glasses.

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The Best Funny Short Stories Baby Airplanes


funny

A mother and her inquisitive young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.

The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don’t planes have baby planes?”

The mother, who couldn’t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don’t planes have baby planes?”

The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?”

The little boy admitted that she did.

“Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you.”     

The End

Funny Story About Friends ~ Ski Holiday


funny

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.

They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained. “I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”

“Don’t worry,” Jack said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.”

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

 

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The Three Little Pigs – fairy tales best ever


Three-Little-Pigs1

Once upon a time there was and old pig with three little pigs, and one day she said to them: “My children, it is time for you to go out in the world and seek your fortunes”.
So, bidding their mother good-bye, the three little pigs set out to earn their living.

Three-Little-Pigs2

The first little pig, whose name was Whitey, met a man with a bundle of straw and said to him: “Please, mister, will you give me that straw to build a house with?”
The man gave Whitey the straw, and he built himself a house with it.

Three-Little-Pigs3

Presently a wolf came along and knocked at the door of Whitey’s house.
“Little pig, little pig,” he said. “Let me come in.”
But of course Whitey didn’t want the wolf to come in, so he said:
“No, no, by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!”
This made the wolf angry, and he said:

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From The Best Funny Story About Lawyers ~ The Slick Attorney


funny

A Godfather in the mob finds out that his bookkeeper has stolen ten million bucks.

This bookkeeper happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: “Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?” The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The attorney tells the Godfather: “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

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Strange Cup holder – lol


cup_cdDrive

Tech Rep: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?”

Caller: “The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?”

Tech Rep: “I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?”
Caller: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my computer.”

Tech Rep: “Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it’s because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?”

Caller: “It came with my computer, I don’t know anything about a promotion. It just has ‘4X’ on it.”

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn’t stand it.

The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.

The End

Stupid Boy! – fun fun fun


stupid boy

A brand new teacher had been working to make use of the children’s mindsets programs. She
began the children’s course and announcing that, “stand up boys who thinks that you are stupid”

After a couple of seconds, Little John stood upwards. The actual teacher stated, “Can you
think you are silly, Small John?”

“Virtually not any, dame, but I don’t like to see you standing up there simply by yourself!”

Mr Bear and Mr Rabbit : Just for fun


bear jokes
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn’t like each other very much.
One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn’t often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.

Don’t tell your sad story! – fun


Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that theelevators in their hotel were brokenand they would have to climb75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let’s break themonotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. “I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!”

Run Run – Fun vs Fun Series


Wile_run

 

I was teaching a very basic class in BASIC programming to a group of adults. Adults who have never been around computers before are very nervous and much harder to teach than children, however I am a patient person so I enjoy their successes.

However, I must share the following:

After putting a short program on the board, I told the students to type “R,” “U,” “N” and press return to see the program execute.

A hand went up in the back of the room, waving to get my attention, and the person attached to the hand said, “I did what you said and it didn’t work.” Knowing full-well that all of us make mistakes when typing at the computer, I suggested she retype “R,” “U,” “N” and press return. A few seconds later, the lady’s hand goes up again. “It still doesn’t work,” she said.

So… I went back to see what the problem was … only to find that instead of typing RUN, she had typed in the following: ARE YOU IN !

The End